When we talk about sexual health with young people we say it is to do with everything about them relating to sex, relationships and the way their body changes as they become an adult. Healthy Respect wants to encourage young people to know and understand more about what rights they have, and what responsibilities they have to look after themselves and other people. There are also things about the law that young people need to think about.
In this part of the site we answer some important questions which parents may have about aspects of the sexual health of their son or daughter:
Rights and Responsibilities
What are my rights and responsibilities as a parent?
In both The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, and The Children (Scotland) Act 1995, parents hold the main responsibility for the welfare of their child.
professionals working with young people will always strongly encourage young people to speak to a parent or other trusted adult When it comes to their child's health parents can expect that a professional person would normally seek permission before providing any treatment or counselling for someone under the age of 16. So for example, schools normally ask parents for consent for young people to have immunisations.
However, the law says that a young person can use a health service or get medical treatment at any age without parental permission as long as the young person understands what it is they are doing. Medical professionals involved in the delivery of sexual health services (including provision of contraception) follow rules which respect the young person's right to confidentiality, but will also encourage any 13, 14 or 15 year old to speak to their parents about these things.
Parents can be sensitive to the ways in which their son or daughter might access and use services that provide information, support, advice or clinical services. This is particularly so if their child is under 16.
What rights do young people have?
- To be healthy and safe
- To be treated with respect
- To ask for what they want in a relationship
- To say no to sexual activity until they feel ready
- To be able to get good quality information about sexual health and relationships
- To use sexual health services (like their doctor, a sexual health clinic or drop-in)
- To get medical treatment (for example, contraception)
- To have their say when a professional person’s decision affects them.
Healthy Respect encourages young people to be aware of their responsibilities:
- To think carefully about keeping themselves and their partner healthy and safe
- To think about the information they get about sexual health and relationships
- To say clearly what they want and don’t want in a relationship
- To treat others people, and their feelings, with respect (even if they are different)
- To think about what the law says about sex and relationships
What about the rights and responsibilities of professionals?
We all have rights enshrined in the European Convention on Human Rights and the Human Rights Act 1998. Children and young people up to the age of 18 are viewed as requiring special protection and so have rights laid out in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Professional people, when working with a young person, assume a level of responsibility for the relationship and for the well being of the young person. Professionals need to be clear about what guides them in their interactions with young people. Many professional groups have clear protocols or codes of conduct for their professional practice. rofessional practice locally is guided by The Edinburgh and Lothians Inter-AgencyChild Protection Procedures 2007.
How does confidentiality work?
For professionals working with young people aged 13-16 years, it is good practice to talk with them about what child protection means, how confidentiality works, and what their responsibilities are in relation to it. It is best to do this at regular intervals, and particularly important if a professional is engaging in any activity in which young people are likely to talk about sex or relationships or sexual health.
Usually, whatever age the young person is, they have the right to confidentiality, unless someone is harming them or they are in danger
Young people often want to know about confidentiality before they decide whether to speak to a professional person about sexual health. Usually, whatever age the young person is, they have the right to confidentiality, unless someone is harming them or they are in danger. This means that young people aged 13-16 can legally access confidential sexual health services…even though it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16. For example, a young person may access contraception without the need for parental knowledge or consent. However, professionals working with young people will always strongly encourage young people to speak to a parent or other trusted adult, particularly if they are pregnant.
What about under 16s?
Parents are often concerned about their son or daughter becoming sexually active if they are under 16. This is the kind of information professionals in the Healthy Respect network give to young people who are 13, 14 or 15 years old:
If a young person is 13, 14 or 15 years old and they ask for contraception, or they are concerned about something to do with their sexual health, then the professional person they talk to will encourage them to talk to their parent. But a professional person cannot make them do this, and must not pass on information about the young person to a parent without permission.
But what about child protection when it comes to 13, 14 and 15 year olds having sex?
We try to get over to young people this age that if parents or professional people think they are having sex then they may be worried about them. We say to young people that while we understand it isn't always easy to talk to their parents they should consider doing so, but that if they really think they can't, they should definitely then talk with one of our helping agencies, who in turn might be able to help them prepare how to talk to their parents.
One of the key things we try to get over to young people this age is that if a professional person is worried about them having sex that they would call this child protection. We explain that the kind of thing that would worry a professional person would be if the person having sex with the 13, 14 or 15 year old is:
- much older than them
- or they are asking the young person to keep their relationship secret and telling them not to talk to anyone to get the information, advice or support they need
- or they are trying to keep the young person involved with them by buying them things or giving them money
- or they are asking the young person to do things that are making them feel uncomfortable
- or they are hurting the young person in some way.
We hope that young people understand that professional people think about child protection because they want to make sure young people are safe. We explain that if the professional is worried about a young person they will usually talk to them about this and if they feel that they need to do more to protect the young person from harm they will talk to other professional people who are experts in child protection, they might be doctors, social workers or police officers. These people will then decide what its best to do to help keep the young person safe and healthy.
Who can help if my son or daughter has a question or is worried about something to do with their sexual health?
Sometimes it's good to talk, to find out more about your rights or just to talk about something that is a bit of a worry. Healthy Respect encourages young people to find someone in their family that they can trust and is a good listener and talk to them. However if a young person wants to talk to someone else these are the agencies we say that can help. As a parent you might also want to encourage your son or daughter to seek out information, support or advice from any of these places.
Healthy Respect drop-ins
Healthy Respect run drop-ins for young people in Edinburgh and the Lothians which provide free confidential advice, support and information about general and sexual health. They are in schools, health centres and the community.
Caledonia Youth is a special place that only works with young people. They can help with questions or situations to do with sex, relationships or sexual health. Young people can contact them by telephone on 0131 229 3596, or by writing to CY at 5 Castle Terrace, Edinburgh EH1 2DP. They can give a young person an appointment or tell them when there is a drop in time.
Their website gives more information: http://www.caledoniayouth.org
Family Planning Clinics are all over West Lothian, East Lothian, Midlothian and Edinburgh. They can help with questions or situations to do with sex, relationships or sexual health. Some of their clinics are especially for young people. Young people can phone them on 0131 332 7941 to find out where their nearest clinic is.
LGBT Youth Scotland supports young people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Their website at http://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/ provides more detail, or young people can call the Youthline on 0845 113 0005 from 7.30 to 9pm on Tuesdays or telephone 0131 622 2266 at other times, or write to LGBT Youth Scotland, John Cotton Centre, 10 Sunnyside, Edinburgh EH7 5RA.
ChildLine gives confidential information and support. Young poeple can contact them by telephone for free on 0800 1111 or by writing (no stamp needed) to ChildLine Freepost 1111, Glasgow G1 4BR.
Worth Talking About gives advice about sex, relationships and contraception. The call is free and confidential, telephone 0800 28 29 30 or by Textphone (for people with hearing impairments) on 0800 328 1651
Where can I get help or support as a parent?
ParentLine Scotland describes its service as follows: At some time all parents find that parenting can be difficult, stressful, and even impossible. ParentLine Scotland is the free, confidential, telephone helpline for parents and anyone caring for a child in Scotland. You can call about any problem, however big or small. At ParentLine Scotland we don't tell parents what to do or how to bring up their children. We listen, help callers express their feelings and support them to find a way forward. Telephone helplines allow anonymity and give callers an opportunity to 'offload' and to be pointed in the right direction for information and support. Many callers phone when they are at the end of their tether, but you don't have to leave it till a situation nears crisis point. Often just talking things through can be a big help!
ParentLine is open for telephone calls from parents on Monday, Wednesday & Friday between 9am - 5pm or Tuesday & Thursday between 9am - 9pm. Phone 0808 800 2222. More at their website at http://www.children1st.org.uk
Parents Enquiry Scotland has been in existence for about 30 years, offering support to parents and their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children across Scotland. One of the main problems faced by families of LGBT children is a sense of isolation, so the parents involved are happy to meet people, usually one-to-one but sometimes in groups . The group also provides speakers to talk to interested organisations and have a comprehensive book list and leaflets available. Confidential help-lines are operated by parents. They are not counsellors but have been through the experience of learning to understand and support their own gay children. Telephone calls are welcome at any reasonable time, but as help-lines are operated from parents own homes you can leave a message or try again if you don't get through the first time. Further information is available on the admin line at 0131 556 6047 or at the website at http://www.parentsenquiryscotland.org/ or email parentsenquiry@hotmail.com
Where can I find out more about other health issues which affect young people?
There are some web sites which we have offered to young people as good sources of information about a range of health issues that they may have questions or concerns about. They are also good for parents who want some good information so that they can talk to their child about what might be worrying them.
At YoungMinds you’ll find lots of stuff about mental health and wellbeing at http://www.youngminds.org.uk/youngpeople/index.php
At ChildLine you can find out more about many things that concern or worry young people, go to http://www.childline.org.uk
What about rights, responsibilities and the law when it comes to professional people?
If you want a professional person you know to know more they can read the Rights, Responsiblities And The Law page in the Professionals section on our website written especially for them.
Is there information for young people on this site about rights, responsibilities and the law?
If you want a young person to know more they can read the Rights And Responsibilities section on this site for them.