When we talk about sexual health with young people we say it is to do with everything about them relating to sex, relationships and the way their body changes as they become an adult. Healthy Respect wants to encourage young people to know and understand more about what rights they have, and what responsibilities they have to look after themselves and other people. There are also things about the law that young people need to think about.
In this part of the site we answer some important questions which parents may have about aspects of the sexual health of their son or daughter:
What rights do young people have?
Young people have a right:
- To be healthy
- To be safe
- To get information and ideas of all kinds
- To confidentiality and respect for their private life
- To use services (like their GP or special clinics about sexual health) to help them stay healthy
- To have their say if a professional person is making a decision that affects them.
When we think about young people's rights we also need to think about what the law says about sex and relationships and also what it says about young people using health services. The law in Scotland says:
A young person can use a health service or get medical treatment at any age (including without their parent's permission) as long as the young person understands what it is they are doing. This includes going to a sexual health clinic or asking for and getting contraception.
Young people can buy condoms at any age. They can also get free condoms from the c:card service which operates across the Lothians.
The age of consent in Scotland for boys and girls is 16. This means that if both people having sex are 16 or older, and both want to have sex, then it is legal to have sex. The age of consent is the same for people who are heterosexual or gay or lesbian.
There are special laws for some people with profound disabilities who may not be able to consent to sex.
If someone forces another person to have sex this is wrong and it is against the law and we encourage people to ask for help if they are being coerced in any way.
Healthy Respect encourages young people to see the importance of sex and relationships. We encourage them to:
Remember that they have a right to be healthy and feel safe.
Remember if they don't feel safe in a relationship they should find someone to talk to.
Talk with someone in their family if they have questions or concerns.
Remember they can go to speak to a doctor or nurse if they have any questions about sex or relationships, or if they want to talk about contraception, or they are worried about getting pregnant, or they want to know more about sexually transmitted infections. There are some special places that are for young people, visit our address book.
Back to topWhat about my rights and responsibilities as a parent?
In both The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, and important legislation in Scotland called The Children (Scotland) Act 1995, parents hold the main responsibility for the welfare of their child.
When it comes to their child's health parents can expect that a professional person would normally seek permission before providing any treatment or counselling for someone under the age of 16. So for example, schools normally ask parents for consent for young people to have immunisations.
But sometimes, when it comes to 13, 14 and 15 year olds, and sexual health matters young people don't want to involve their parents. This means that the professional person is in a difficult position. As we said earlier the law says that a young person can use a health service or get medical treatment at any age without their parent's permission as long as the young person understands what it is they are doing.
Professional people understand that parents can be very unhappy with this situation and so they follow rules which respect the young person's right to confidentiality, but they also do what they can to talk to the 13, 14 or 15 year old to encourage or help them to speak to their parent about these things. Professional people involved with young people about sexual health issues also want to reassure parents that by coming to a helping agency for information, help or advice the young person is doing a responsible thing.
Back to topHow does confidentiality work?
Confidentiality is one of the most important areas of rights that young people usually want to check out when they are speaking to a professional person about sexual health. We explain to them confidentiality means that if they talk to a professional person about something to do with their sexual health, that person should not tell other people without the young person's permission. Whatever age the young person is they have the right to confidentiality.
We have written a booklet on the issue of confidentiality especially for young people who are 13, 14 or 15 years old. We explain that the bottom line is that if a young person is 13, 14 or 15 years old a professional person will keep their conversation confidential unless someone is harming them or they are in danger. Teachers and community education workers have slightly different rules, we suggest you read our confidentiality booklet for under 16's to find out more. You can also order a copy free of charge from Healthy Respect.
Back to topWhat about under 16's?
Of course parents are understandably concerned about their son or daughter becoming sexually active if they are under 16. This is the kind of information we give to young people who are 13, 14 or 15 years old:
If a young person is 13, 14 or 15 years old and they ask for contraception, or they are concerned about something to do with their sexual health, then the professional person they talk to will encourage them to talk to their parent. But a professional person cannot make them do this, and the professional person must not pass on information about the young person to a parent without permission.
Even though 13, 14 and 15 year olds have a right to ask for advice or information or contraception a doctor can say no if they don't normally work with under 16's, but they must keep the request confidential and they will usually tell the young person where else they can go.
The law wants to protect young people under 16 from harm. This means that we have an age of consent which says that if young people are having sex when they are under 16 there are laws which are there to protect them that they need to know about.
We explain to young people that most people wait until they are 16 or older before having sex. But sometimes people have sex before their 16th birthday. In this case we explain to young people what the law says about this.
Back to topWhat does the law say about 13, 14 or 15 years olds having sex?
If the young person and their partner are heterosexual and are both 13, 14 or 15 years old and they have sex the boy is breaking the law.
If the young person and their partner are gay and are both 13, 14 or 15 years old and they have sex they are both breaking the law.
If the young person and their partner are both lesbian and are both 13, 14 or 15 years old and they have sex neither of them is breaking the law.
If one of the young people is 13, 14 or 15 years old and their partner is 16 or older the older person is breaking the law.
But surely it's not just about young people's rights and the law?
Of course, its not, these are just statements of fact. We want young people to understand that they deserve the best when it comes to their personal and sexual relationships. This means that we say to them that while laws may be broken by young people having sex (as described above) we don't want them to be overly worried about this, this is because we want them to feel that they can talk to someone to get the information, advice or support they need to make sure they make good, safe decisions. We don't want them to be frightened, this will only make them more vulnerable.
We want them to understand that although a professional person will encourage and help them to speak to their parents, at the end of the day they will give them the information, advice or support they need to keep safe.
We also remind young people that it is always wrong and against the law to force someone to have sex no matter what age those involved are.
Back to topBut what about child protection when it comes to 13, 14 and 15 year olds having sex?
We try to get over to young people this age that if parents or professional people think they are having sex then they may be worried about them. We say to young people that while we understand it isn't always easy to talk to their parents they should consider doing so, but that if they really think they can't, they should definitely then talk with one of our helping agencies, who in turn might be able to help them prepare how to talk to their parents.
One of the key things we try to get over to young people this age is that if a professional person is worried about them having sex that they would call this child protection. We explain that the kind of thing that would worry a professional person would be if the person having sex with the 13, 14 or 15 year old is:
- much older than them
- or they are asking the young person to keep their relationship secret and telling them not to talk to anyone to get the information, advice or support they need
- or they are trying to keep the young person involved with them by buying them things or giving them money
- or they are asking the young person to do things that are making them feel uncomfortable
- or they are hurting the young person in some way.
We hope that young people understand that professional people think about child protection because they want to make sure young people are safe. We explain that if the professional is worried about a young person they will usually talk to them about this and if they feel that they need to do more to protect the young person from harm they will talk to other professional people who are experts in child protection, they might be doctors, social workers or police officers. These people will then decide what its best to do to help keep the young person safe and healthy.
Back to topWho can help if my son or daughter has a question or is worried about something to do with their sexual health?
Sometimes it's good to talk, to find out more about your rights or just to talk about something that is a bit of a worry. Healthy Respect encourages young people to find someone in their family that they can trust and is a good listener and talk to them. However if a young person wants to talk to someone else these are the agencies we say that can help. As a parent you might also want to encourage your son or daughter to seek out information, support or advice from any of these places.
Healthy Respect drop-ins
Healthy Respect run drop-ins for young people in Edinburgh and the Lothians which provide free confidential advice, support and information about general and sexual health. They are in schools, health centres and the community.
Caledonia Youth is a special place that only works with young people. They can help with questions or situations to do with sex, relationships or sexual health. Young people can contact them by telephone on 0131 229 3596, or by writing to CY at 5 Castle Terrace, Edinburgh EH1 2DP. They can give a young person an appointment or tell them when there is a drop in time.
Their website gives more information:
http://www.caledoniayouth.org
Family Planning Clinics are all over West Lothian, East Lothian, Midlothian and Edinburgh. They can help with questions or situations to do with sex, relationships or sexual health. Some of their clinics are especially for young people. Young people can phone them on 0131 332 7941 to find out where their nearest clinic is.
LGBT Youth Scotland supports young people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Their website at http://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/ provides more detail, or young people can call the Youthline on 0845 113 0005 from 7.30 to 9pm on Tuesdays or telephone 0131 622 2266 at other times, or write to LGBT Youth Scotland, John Cotton Centre, 10 Sunnyside, Edinburgh EH7 5RA.
ChildLine gives confidential information and support. Young poeple can contact them by telephone for free on 0800 1111 or by writing (no stamp needed) to ChildLine Freepost 1111, Glasgow G1 4BR.
Sexwise gives advice about sex, relationships and contraception. The call is free and confidential, telephone 0800 28 29 30 or by Textphone (for people with hearing impairments) on 0800 328 1651
Back to topWhere can I get help or support as a parent?
ParentLine Scotland describes its service as follows: At some time all parents find that parenting can be difficult, stressful, and even impossible. ParentLine Scotland is the free, confidential, telephone helpline for parents and anyone caring for a child in Scotland. You can call about any problem, however big or small. At ParentLine Scotland we don't tell parents what to do or how to bring up their children. We listen, help callers express their feelings and support them to find a way forward. Telephone helplines allow anonymity and give callers an opportunity to 'offload' and to be pointed in the right direction for information and support. Many callers phone when they are at the end of their tether, but you don't have to leave it till a situation nears crisis point. Often just talking things through can be a big help!
ParentLine is open for telephone calls from parents on Monday, Wednesday & Friday between 9am - 5pm or Tuesday & Thursday between 9am - 9pm. Phone 0808 800 2222. More at their website at http://www.children1st.org.uk/parentline/
Parents Enquiry Scotland has been in existence for about 30 years, offering support to parents and their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children across Scotland. One of the main problems faced by families of LGBT children is a sense of isolation, so the parents involved are happy to meet people, usually one-to-one but sometimes in groups . The group also provides speakers to talk to interested organisations and have a comprehensive book list and leaflets available. Confidential help-lines are operated by parents. They are not counsellors but have been through the experience of learning to understand and support their own gay children. Telephone calls are welcome at any reasonable time, but as help-lines are operated from parents own homes you can leave a message or try again if you don't get through the first time. Further information is available on the admin line at 0131 556 6047 or at the website at http://www.parentsenquiryscotland.org/ or email parentsenquiry@hotmail.com
Back to topWhere can I find out more about young people's rights and the law?
The Scottish Child Law Centre gives information and advice about the law. You can contact them by telephone for free on 0800 328 8970 or by email to enquiries@sclc.org.uk or by writing to SCLC 54 East Crosscauseway, Edinburgh EH8 9HD. More at http://www.sclc.org.uk/
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child is the international law which states what rights young people have from birth until they are 18 years old. Parents can have lots of questions about how the UNCRC affects their child and their family relationships. There is more on this at http://www.unicef.org/crc/parentsfaq.htm
There is also a good summary of the UNCRC at: http://www.therightssite.org.uk/html/kyr.htm
Scotland's Commissioner for Children and Young People: The job of the Commissioner and her team is to make sure that people listen when children and young people have important things to say about their lives. This might include people in schools, parliament and law courts. The Commissioner is also interested in children and young people's rights in the context of family life. The Commissioner must also make sure that adults keep the promises made to children and young people in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. More at http://www.cypcommissioner.org/content/about-us/index.php
Back to topWhere can I find out more about other health issues which affect young people?
There are some web sites which we have offered to young people as good sources of information about a range of health issues that they may have questions or concerns about. They are also good for parents who want some good information so that they can talk to their child about what might be worrying them.
Teenage Health Freak at http://www.teenagehealthfreak.org/homepage/index.asp
At YoungMinds you’ll find lots of stuff about mental health and wellbeing at http://www.youngminds.org.uk/youngpeople/index.php
At ChildLine you can find out more about many things that concern or worry young people, go to http://www.childline.org.uk/Helpandadvice.asp
Back to topWhat about rights, responsibilities and the law when it comes to professional people?
If you want a professional person you know to know more they can read the Rights, Responsiblities And The Law page in the Professionals section on our website written especially for them.
Back to topIs there information for young people on this site about rights, responsibilities and the law?
If you want a young person to know more they can read the Rights And Responsibilities section on this site for them.