Hype vs reality
The great looking guy with the perfect body and several gorgeous women always hanging off him might exist in films, but not in real life. Nor is there a perfect or ‘right way’ to be a man. We all like different things – and that’s OK. Some boys really like hanging out with girls. Some like going to parties. Some enjoy wearing the latest fashions. Some enjoy cooking and making things. Real people are much more interesting and much more individual than any stereotypes (see sexuality). We’re all entitled to be our own person, and to have safe, happy and respectful relationships – you included!
Is everyone doing it?
There seems to be loads of pressure on boys to have sex. But in Scotland, most guys don’t start having sex until they’re 16, or older.
It sometimes seems sex is everywhere you look - all over the TV, Internet, movies, guy’s mags… and it can leave you with the feeling that if you’re not having sex, you’re missing out. The reality is that many guys who have sex before they’re ready regret it afterwards, so it’s worth sticking by your own feelings. Go to relationships, respect and confidence for more info on making your own decisions and feeling good about them.
When’s the right time?
In Scotland, most guys don’t start having sex until they’re 16, or older.
If you fancy someone or are going out with someone, sex might be on your mind – that’s perfectly natural. But don’t let yourself be pushed into situations when your gut feeling is telling you different – whether it’s your mates, your partner or anyone else putting on the pressure. When you’re making choices, it’s really important to talk to your partner about how you are both feeling – even if this is hard. Also, have a look at the section ‘Am I ready for sex?’. If you decide you are both ready then talk with your partner about keeping yourselves protected from unintended pregnancy and STIs. See more about safer sex.
Where can I get more info?
Healthy Respect drop-ins can give you confidential, free advice and support about relationships issues, sexual health, and much more, whether you’re having sex ... or not! And there are also many other places that provide sexual health and relationships advice listed in the address book.
What does puberty mean for boys?
Are there different types of sex?
Safer sex?
What about drink, drugs and sex?