Types of Sex
There are many different types of sexual activity, and there is no ‘right way’ to kiss someone or have sex. Also, people define sex differently, but these are some definitions of sex used on this website:
- Vaginal sex: when a man’s hard penis goes inside a woman’s vagina. The woman may be at risk of pregnancy unless she is using contraception and both partners are at risk of STIs unless the man uses a condom.
- Anal sex: when there is stimulation or penetration by a man’s hard penis of another person’s anus. The anus is the hole at the end of the digestive system where solid waste (poo) comes out of the body. Both partners are at risk of STIs unless they use a condom.
- Oral sex: Using the mouth and tongue to stimulate your partner’s genital area (penis or vagina). You can use dental dams or condoms to avoid catching STIs through oral sex.
- Penetrative sex: When something (eg man’s penis or sex toy) goes inside someone else’s body. Vaginal, anal and oral sex are all types of penetrative sex.
- Intercourse (also called sexual intercourse): happens when a man’s hard penis goes inside a woman’s vagina (vaginal sex) or someone’s anus (anal sex). Some people call this ‘going all the way’.
- Sex: can mean all these things and more
Other sexual activities include:
- Kissing: When people use their lips for pleasure – either touching each other’s lips, or other parts of the body with their lips.
- French kissing: when two people put their mouths together and use their lips and tongues for pleasure.
- Masturbation: when you touch, rub or stroke your own body and sexual parts to get aroused. It can be a way to find out about sexual feelings, your body, and what feels good. Masturbation is not bad for you, and its your choice whether or not you do this.
- Mutual masturbation: fingering and touching each other’s genitals (sexual parts). This is generally safe, but in theory if a man has sperm on his fingers and puts it in the vagina there may be a risk of pregnancy or an STI (if the man has one).
- Fingering: using fingers to stimulate another person’s genitals (sexual parts). This is generally safe, but as with mutual masturbation, if a man has sperm on his fingers and puts it in the vagina there may be a risk of pregnancy or an STI (if the man has one).
- Foreplay: this is the word used for any kind of kissing, massage and touching that leads up to intercourse. It helps people get more aroused and can make sex more enjoyable. It doesn’t always lead up to intercourse and can be a great way to get closer to your partner when you’re not ready to go all the way.
- Sex toys (eg vibrators): Some people like to use sex toys as part of their sexual activity. To avoid passing on STIs, put fresh condom onto the sex toy between partners or use one sex toy per partner. They should be cleaned with warm soapy water after use.
Is it OK to still be a virgin?
It’s also important that you don’t have sex for the wrong reasons.
It’s not bad or wrong to be a virgin, even if some of your friends are having sex. It is important that no one forces you to have sex if you don’t want to. It’s also important that you don’t have sex for the wrong reasons. Even if people make you feel bad, you should only have sex, whether it is your first time or even if you have already had sex before. If you really want to and feel ready, see Am I ready for sex?
I’ve had oral sex, am I still a virgin?
There are many different definitions of virginity. Broadly speaking, someone is a virgin if they have not had ‘sex’. For some this may mean any type of sexual activity, but generally it means vaginal sex.
What is abstinence?
This means to choose not to have or not to do something. Sexual abstinence is when someone chooses not to have sex for a period in their lives. There could be many reasons for this for example because of something they believe, they want to wait for marriage or a long-term partner, or they just feel it isn’t right in their lives at that time. People can choose abstinence for a short or very long time. It is a good idea to choose abstinence until you are ready for sex.
Its important to talk to your partner (if you have one) about what abstinence means for you: does ‘no sex’ mean no vaginal sex only or does it also include no oral sex, fingering and/or mutual masturbation?
What does it mean to be celibate?
A person may describe themselves as celibate if they are choosing to be unmarried and to abstain from sexual intercourse (see abstinence above).
Safer sex?
What about drink, drugs and sex?
I’m worried about something
Just for boys
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